God Forgives Rape

Just recently there was a story in the news about a little girl who was raped by her father and then required an abortion. The Catholic Church excommunicated her mother and the doctors who were involved. But the man who raped her still has a chance to get into heaven.

This summer I went to a shoddily put on play of In His Steps. While they not only performed a rather traumatic rape scene and aftermath without warning or rating (there were little kids in the audience, I'm 22 and didn't want to see it either) but they performed the play in obvious sympathy to the rapist. Lets break it down. The rapist had done it to other women. He did it multiple times to the woman depicted in the play. His character is not only cast sympathetically, but in the end of the play he takes a bullet for the good pastor and all is forgiven and he is redeemed. Everyone says he will go to heaven.

I want to know why there is automatic forgiveness for this. In my eyes, there is no middle ground, no saving grace, and certainly no remorse felt afterwards will in anyway undo the harm. Why is it that our society is so inclined to forgive this crime? Things like raping a woman while she is drugged or drunk and passed out can be passed off as a lapse in judgement, the foibles of youth.
It is at once strange that this society so values purity and crams it down every little girls throat, but is happy to condemn her for being raped (it was your fault, you shouldn't have been drinking, running at night, on that side of town, alone with a man you didn't know well...) and even happier to forgive the rapist. Guilt does not assuage the crime. Telling a god you're sorry does not wipe away your crime. If you think it can, ask a victim.

prelude to romance part II

"Romantica® doesn't begin from the premise that women's sexual experiences are dirty and therefore in need of being perfumed up by flowery phrases. The premise of Romantica™ is that women's sexual experiences are legitimate, positive, and beautiful."

One of the reasons I like to (when I have money) buy ebooks from Elloras Cave Romantica Publishing is that statement above.

Another reason? (and for some reason this quote keeps screwing up into arial) We also publish EXOTIKA™, our line of quality erotica for women. These stories focus on a woman’s sexual journey or adventures. Although they may contain a romance, they do not have to include that as the primary focus, the relationship does not need to be monogamous or end with commitment.
What can I say, I like uplifting smut.
Another post on paranormal mainstream Kresley Cole's latest and some random thoughts coming soon!

Spinning

I am not a fan of spinning. My thighs are all achy and I am convinced that I have had lower impact sex. Bike seats are terrible and not my friend. They aren't yours either.

I'm so overloaded with homework for the next week and a half that I might hide and die. Papers, research proposals, a stupid health and wellness project, and a test. Then there's Chinese....

Eugh

Virginity, Purity, & Cultures of Shame

This story has gotten some play and writing in various places but the discussion about it seems to center on how evil this woman was to do the things she did. And there is no doubt the woman is rotten to the core. Having women raped so that they can be recruited as suicide bombers because nothing else will alleviate the shame is.. beyond awful.

But what mechanism would give her the foothold in the minds of these women? The culture does. The religion does. When your worth is based on your virginity it's rather easy to tell a woman there's nothing else for it, to absolve the terrible sin of being brutally attacked, you're just going to have to kill yourself and take out some other people with you.

And we in the western world can't just point and shake our heads at it. We have that same insidious vein running through how we view women. Why is it that in a trial to convict the rapist, the character of the victim is questioned? Has she slept around before? Maybe she reads books where there are situations of dubious consent. In other words, it's probably her fault. And in all cases it's something to be ashamed of.

Why can't more women admit to being raped? There is the huge element of it being such a traumatic experience that you don't want to discuss it. But there's also the element of knowing how people will see you once they know. They are so sorry it happened, and pity you. But what are they more sorry for. They might even feel compelled to tell you that God wont hold it against you. And maybe fictional sky daddy wont.. but they certainly will. They're sorry you can't give yourself to your husband pure. They're sorry you've been tarnished, brought down by sin. It might not have been your sin, but you get slime from it anyway.

And maybe I'm not explaining this well.. but you know when you tell someone in our culture that they are going to see it as something taken from you. No.. not the choice, no not the joy and freedom and sense of self or feelings of security.. no they took sex from you. The rapist took something that made you a better person. Maybe your virginity.. or maybe just your faithfulness to someone else.

And that's why it's so important to remove the element of shame. That's why we shouldn't put the character of the victim on trial. That's why when we teach about sex in schools we shouldn't talk about virginity and purity like they give you worth. (they will however give you STIs when you know nothing about safe sex)

Don't tell me it's understandable for a victim to feel ashamed. That's not a result of the violence, that's the result of the violence of our culture against women. (or indeed against men who have been raped) Our antiquated ideals are hurting people. And if we want to excuse them.. just look to the women who would rather be martyrs than live as someone who had been raped. Mind.. they might not have lived anyway with the whole honour killing thing.

In the end.. what needs to go is the entire concept of virginity and purity. They are and always have been methods of hateful control. The problems from these concepts are vivid in the stories of these Iraqi women. But they are just as easily found closer to home. Lets kick these ideas to the curb. (and then run them over a few times)

Someone slap Israel please?

Dear Gaza and your missile ridden population,
I'm terribly sorry my country so deliberately failed you in the UN Security Council. What's happening is a terrifying humanitarian crisis and it's so awful that Israel is trying to keep western media out so they won't look quite so brutish and not be seen as the very violent and uncaring aggressor. I'm mostly sorry my country won't back off the support for the authoritarian theocracy that is Israel and her not so friendly actions to the people who Israel the physical country actually should belong to. I'm also sorry that Europe felt guilty for the Holocaust and stole someone elses country to assuage the guilt.
A very concerned US citizen who wishes she could help.


This conflict brings out the frequent pathology of American politics. Unblinking support of Israel despite the human cost all for a religious myth. The argument that we must support allies and democracies in the middle east do not hold up under the actions undertaken by the Israeli state. It is as much a theocracy as Iran, possibly more. The only difference is that it may undertake harmful operations with impunity because of good pal Christian USA.

New Clothing Brand

Kanye wears Jesus and I might vomit from not eating today. Eugh.

I went and saw Milk with Jared tonight. On one hand I think films like it are so important about reminding people that there is in fact and has been a struggle for basic rights. On the other hand the film looked at a terribly and openly violent period against homosexuals and sort of... glossed over. We're told in the movie that they the gay community hate the police and that crimes that happen could have been committed by the police. But it's done in a very offhand manner and there really isn't a connection with the viewer of the regular abuse that happened. I'm not sure really.
It was still a very well done movie and I was really glad I went to see it.

A is for Applesauce!

*squeals and runs all over the place* ok, 2 As and 1 A- so far. Come on 4th A!


I want sleep more than.. anything I have ever wanted in my life. This mental celebration alone is exhausting me. Time to pack!

exam week

Have you ever noticed that when you are the most panicked, you feel the most calm?
I review my notes frantically in my head while outwardly brushing my teeth in a chill manner. Nerves? No such thing.